Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
