Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize