I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
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He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
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If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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