i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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