That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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