yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
