You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
