Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
