i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
