so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
