He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
