the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize