I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
