All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize