I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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