whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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