Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
