Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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