i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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