I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
