I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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