last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
