how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
