i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
