He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
