I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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