He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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