It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
