this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
