i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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