Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
