This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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