hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
babies were throwing up all over the place
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Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
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I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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