As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
