you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
