Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
