I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
