Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Randomize
