would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
