well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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