I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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