I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I had to cum in my sink.
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