I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
