Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
