I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
