How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
