Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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