We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
