so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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