Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
