she kept yelling 'call me bella'
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
