well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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