i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
