So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
