New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
