Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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