ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
