he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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