I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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