she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
