if i can run in heels then i can drive
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
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better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
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Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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