I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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