I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
