By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
