I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
