i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
